eHarmony for Pastors and Churches

Check it, yo.

Finally, here’s a way to guarantee (or your money back) getting a pastor who does what you want, not what he wants. He’ll preach what you want him to preach, for exactly the right amount of time. He’ll work for the salary you want to pay him. He won’t offend you (unless you’re into that kind of thing). And you’ll likewise be the perfect congregation for him. You won’t ask too much of him or make too many demands that conflict with his social life. You won’t expect him to step too far out of his comfort zone. And you won’t get upset when he forgets your names (unless you’re into that kind of thing).


The Post-Dispatch on the Protest at the International Center

Here‘s the St. Louis Post-Dispatch on the protest against the removal of “Issues, Etc.” I don’t know what, if anything, was accomplished, but perhaps it will show that this “issue” will not go away. Pastoral Conferences are sending overtures to their district conventions, and, presumably, some of those will be sent on to the Synodical Convention. We shall see.

My favorite part of the story is this: ” On Sunday, 200 ‘Issues, Etc.’ supporters gathered at Emmaus Lutheran Church in St. Louis to pray and eat bratwurst.” These guys are Norwegian, right?

Then, there’s this:

[David] Strand would not say whether the church was considering a sale of its stations. He pointed out that the 7,000 signatures make up one-third of 1 percent of the church body.

In the vacated time slot, the church has launched a new program called “The Afternoon Show,” with topics Strand said should have a broader appeal.

7,000? That’s nothing. Negligible, apparently. My question is, what number would make up a large enough percentage of the Missouri Synod’s congregational membership to merit action? “Broader appeal.” Yeah, like the congregations taking every distinctly Lutheran aspect out in order to appeal more broadly. Like downplaying the power of the Gospel and the Sacraments in favor of watered-down Law and absent Gospel. Like giving us only feel-good ephemerality rather than the substantial theology of the Church in general and the Lutheran Confessions in particular. Well, Mr. Strand is correct. Watering it all down will have a broader appeal. People have itching ears and the more we can scratch them satisfactorily, the more they’ll come back. The Truth has a disconcerting habit of not only uniting those who hear the Good Shepherd’s voice (everyone who is of the truth listens to My voice), but also dividing inevitably those who refuse to hear the truth. That’s just the way it is. The only question to be asked is whether we, as a church body, are selling a product or proclaiming the Gospel. All the talk about bottom lines and finances has me leaning toward an unsavory conclusion. When it comes to evangelism, are we all ablaze! with talk, or will we actually support those endeavors where the Gospel is preached? The fact that the question occurs to me probably provides its own answer.