I’ve begun Richard John Neuhaus’ Catholic Matters. As with most of his writings, it’s full of wit and nice turns of phrase. Though there is much to disagree with, here’s a nice quote: “It is said that a certain distortion of ecumenism has produced the ecumaniac. An ecumaniac is defined as someone who loves every church but his own” (p. 27).

(Although there is a wide gap ecclesiologically between Neuhaus and Lutherans, all one has to do is to substitute “Lutheran” for “Catholic” and one finds much that is applicable, however broad the Tiber remains. I’m sure that, progressing further, I’ll find other gems. And, of course, other pieces of coal.)


The Hubris! The Arrogance!

I expect, at any moment, to see all the anti-theocracy loudmouths denouncing Chris Bell for his violation of the Constitutional Wall Of Separation.

Democratic gubernatorial nominee Chris Bell invoked his Christian faith on Thursday, saying he is sure Jesus would have supported embryonic stem cell research.

“What would Jesus do? He would not let political objections stand in the way of healing the sick,” Bell said. “Stem cell research isn’t just a good idea, it’s a moral imperative.”

I mean, how can they let him get away with being so arrogant as to presume he has a direct line to Jesus? Clearly, he’s joined the ranks of Pres. Bush, James Dobson, Jerry Falwell, et al. How else could he be so brazen as to betray the sacred Democratic ideals of non-invocation of deities to advance political positions?

Sorry, just living in my alternate political universe for a moment… “Bell said it is time Democrats also expressed their positions on issues as moral stands based on religious faith.” Just like President Bush did when he vetoed the stem cell bill a while back, right? Oh wait, the President didn’t bring Jesus into the conversation. Bell, you’d be crucified (excuse my religious imagery) if you were a Republican. Good thing you’re from the other party.


Another for the Deceitful Heart Files

That’s right, volunteers like my husband and me, along with close relatives or clergy members willing to help a young woman during a personal crisis, could eventually become criminals.

You already are criminals. The law just hasn’t caught up with you yet.

Whatever version of this bill becomes law, the Anas of the world — the ones with parental consent — will still come to New York, and we will gladly put them up overnight. But I worry about those other girls, stranded without support, forced to become parents because they believe their own parents won’t come through for them. There’s nothing I can do to help them. Instead, under this law, they — and their children — will suffer.

I guess we’re deciding which suffering is worse: the suffering of childbirth or the suffering of murder. Quit playing the victim card, Lynn. Your moral compass is so far off, you’re heading South quickly.


Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: RE:

In the normal course of things, I despise forwarded e-mails. But this one, forwarded to me by my lovely wife, is worth a smile or two.

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO t-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000, Tux rental $100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all of your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough! You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hair style lasts for years, even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes and one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife. You have the freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Now forward this to ten people within the next 30 seconds or all hell will break loose and you and your entire family will spontaneously combust while being eaten by ravenous wolves! God bless!