If God Is For [the Seahawks], Who Can Be Against [the Seahawks]?

[That’s from the New Revised Substandard Perversion]

Terry Bradshaw, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Steelers flag in the window. “This house is yours for eternity, Terry.” said God.

“This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here.” Bradshaw felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3 story mansion with a blue and white sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flag pole with an enormous SEAHAWKS flag, and in every window a blue Towel.

Bradshaw looked at God and said, “God, I’m not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro quarterback, I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame.”

God said, “So what’s your point Bradshaw?”

“Well, why does Matt Hasselbeck get a better house than me?”

God chuckled, and said, “Terry, that’s not Matt’s house, it’s mine.”

[from GFBA Jeff]


Define “Religious”

“Americans–at least American Protestants–are not, in fact, very religious. True, the great majority believes in God. Most say that religion is important to their lives. Compared with citizens of other highly industrialized countries, American Protestants go to church with astonishing regularity. Nonetheless, if being religious means an understanding of creed, a confessional loyalty that clearly separates worldly purposes from worship, and a refusal to try to make God’s power ‘relevant,’ then most American Protestants have merely confused the sacred with their well-known devotion to practical results” (R. Laurence Moore in the Foreword of D.G. Hart’s The Lost Soul of American Protestantism [Lanham, MD: Rowman and Littlefield Publishers, Inc., 2002] ix).