Question of the Day

If married, do you believe that God created and set apart your spouse just for you? Or do you believe that you could have married a number of different people but chose your current mate?

Of course, we are treading on “hidden God” turf, so keep that in mind.

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11 thoughts on “Question of the Day

  1. I have always said God chose my husband, because the jerks I was attracted to always turned out to be, well, Jerks! Originally my husband and I were just friends, then God changed my heart. If left to me I would have chosen some loser…God chose my husband for me, I’m sure of it.

  2. Chaz,
    Maybe I should re-phrase the post. There is a possibility that people could tread on “hidden God” turf. To answer this question, one doesn’t have to do that if thinking properly.

  3. The analogy I like best here is that our life in Christ is like kindergartners let loose on the playground. Exactly what you do on the playground is not fore-ordained, but it is limited by what is there. Within the choices offered there is freedom. Perhaps some choices allowed to others are taken from you, either by subtle means (the line is too long at the slide) or by drastic means (you are in a wheel-chair). But still there are choices to be made and swinging or playing on the teeter-totter are both good.

    Thus once we’ve chosen a bride and God has joined us together there is no going back. God has done it. He has made us one flesh. And He has promised to bless it. But prior to sitting down on the teeter-totter there is freedom. Whatever choice you make will be blessed. After the choice is made it seems as though there was none better. Why? Because God blesses it and makes it the right choice.

    So “yes” God creates and sets apart husband and wife for one another, but it is retroactive. 🙂

  4. I think God does do the choosing. For some reason or another you end up with the person that you are married to and I would say that God has a major part in making that the “right” choice. I think there is a reason behind everything whether we realize it or not.

  5. Not married, but aspire to be.

    It’s a dangerous question to ask. Is this my soulmate? What happens when you get so upset with your spouse that your question is raised again? Would God want you to be upset if this person was REALLY your soulmate?

    Here’s a question to scramble your eggs…What about couples whose marriage was arranged, are they soulmates? Were they set apart for each other?

    Why do we concern ourselves with such questions, but then that question does drive one of the top dating sites. Are we looking for a way out if were in a ‘failing’ relationship? Or if were single looking for a soulmate, are we looking for someone to blame that we haven’t found our ‘soulmate’?

    But then I’m one of those wretches who complains about being single and doesn’t do anything about it, so what do I know. 🙂

  6. I agree with Pertesen. I think we have a tremendous amount of freedom in who we choose to marry and many people fit the bill. Many people are concerned about being happy with someone, but there are probably two or three people that would make us happy. Also a big concern is falling in love, but doesn’t love come after marriage, contrary to the children’s rhyme?
    I think if someone wants to get married, they should. If they don’t need to, they shouldn’t. It is up to us and as Paul says, if marriage will keep us from sin then we should do it. Look at Luther, he didn’t get married until he was 42 and I don’t think he knew Katie very well. All they had was a common faith and that gets them through.

  7. I do not believe that God chooses one person for each of us to marry and then brings us together. In fact, I think this can be a harmful belief. Some people remain single and miserably lonely because they can never commit. They wonder, “Is this THE ONE?” “How can I be sure this is my soulmate?” Etc. And they miss out on wonderful opportunities, looking for signs and assurances.

    God give us freedom in such matters. There is no biblical promise whatsoever that He is our matchmaker.

    I do, however, believe that God blesses marriage. It pleases Him when a man and woman pledge themselves to one another. It is a mirror of Christ and the Church. And when you marry, it is God who is joining you together.

    I also disagree with the related idea that “everything happens for a reason.” That’s too much like fatalism. It is true that God works everything together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. But that does not mean that everything that occurs is part of his grand scheme for us. God does not will or cause evil, for instance.

    Is it God’s will for John to marry Susan? We cannot know. But once they are married, it is God’s will that they love one another and stay together.

  8. God makes it clear what His will is, should His children marry: He wants Christians to marry Christians. He wants women to marry someone they can submit to, men to marry someone they can die for. Is she a Christian, someone who would submit to you, someone whom you would die for? Sounds like a soul mate to me. There might be more than one of them running around in this great big world, and there should be. You never know when “life happens” and something just doesn’t work out for some never-ever-ever-understood reason. But God gives us our daily bread, and, I am convinced, makes it possible for soul mates to drift into our lives so that we can happily marry one of them in freedom.

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