Buying the Lie

A fairly big name in the Christian Music Industry, Jaci Velasquez, has gotten a divorce. Eh, no big deal; Christians get divorced all the time!

Actually, that’s the problem: Christians get divorced all the time. Perhaps Velasquez’ comments shed some light on why (I think it’s for most of the same reasons that non-Christians get divorced).

“When my husband and I started out as newlyweds, we were like all newlyweds, wanting that dream marriage,” Velasquez said. “Somehow, things took a turn and we have ended up in divorce.” Somehow, “things took a turn.” Ah, that elusive “dream marriage.” I’m not intending to make light of how she or her (ex-)husband might feel. Then again, feelings certainly don’t help. A dream marriage is a fantasy, and not just for non-Christians. And things don’t just “take a turn.” It may seem like that in immediate hindsight, when attention has not been paid, but give it a year. Think about it. Introspect. Divorce is not just something that “happens.” On the other hand, if “falling in love” is just something that “happens,” you never know.

But by then the lie is bought and paid for. Vows based on fickle and fleeting feelings are a recipe for violating those vows. Promises are not made to be broken; with the possible exception (still, not without sin) of physical beatings, your feelings do not count as a gauge for the strength of “what God hath joined together.” The only cure for a hurting and broken marriage is the same as the cure for any sin: repentance induced by the Holy Spirit through the holy Law of God and forgiveness of sins through the cross of Christ.

Jaci Velasquez, among others, bought the lie that a dream of marriage must be fulfilled to be counted successful. We buy the same lie when we do not expect confession and offer absolution when our brothers and sisters tear themselves apart by divorce.



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