What came first for you?
“There may be those who have first felt mere sexual appetite for a woman and then gone on at a later stage to ‘fall in love with her.’ But I doubt if this is at all common. Very often what comes first is simply a delighted preoccupation with the Beloved–a general, unspecified pre-occupation with her in her totality. A man in this state really hasn’t leisure to think of sex. He is too busy thinking of a person. The fact that she is a woman is far less important than the fact that she is herself” (C.S Lewis, The Four Loves in The Beloved Works of C.S Lewis (Grand Rapids, Family Christian Press), 263).